Le Temps d'Aimer

I am not a connoisseur of fine arts. Terms, jargon and sometimes, even nuances, confuse me... I paint because I cannot survive without it.

Nonetheless I'd like to believe, that I am endowed with an inborn aesthetic sensibility that does not require formal training. Lucky me!

Large kohl-smudged eyes, vermilion smeared across her forehead, flowing wavy hair, cotton sari draping a dusky, supple, curvy body, secretly revealing a hint of mystery! Yes that is what I love, the eternal charm of flaming sensuality! Well, it’s necessary to be a lover first, a painter next.

My brush strokes glide over canvases as gently as a lover's caress. The desire to know and discover the body of a woman, as ardent and authentic as that of a flesh-and-blood lover, seeped through with every careful stroke. Days after days, girls after girls… flesh after flesh!

It’s Love You Idiot!

Words! Suddenly I fall in love with words! The brickbats came flying quite fast – Idiot! A writer like you cannot do much in the colossal world of literature!

It’s like discouraging a baby to dance who has barely learnt to walk. Nonetheless it’s true. I cannot write. My fingers cannot create magical spell on Microsoft word as they do on canvases. But here I am, like a worthless boy falling in love with a rich girl and dreaming… to be with her all my life. Overdose of aspiration I guess.

Trust me, I know you have countless rich lovers… Dukes and Princes, Kings and Knights! They will keep you happier than I ever can. They are not only rich, they are charming as well. You were never made for me. I am like that poor kid standing outside a cake shop staring at delicious cakes and pastries with anticipation that someday… someday…someday…

Now I know…

It was a lonely afternoon, I was as usual a prisoner in my room busy with a blank canvas. There was a crow sitting outside my window trying to exchange a few words with me for quite a long time. Crows of North Kolkata are very much demanding these days. They are not happy with stealing fish from kitchen, my charcoal pencils, and even a watercolor tube from my study. Rebellions, you know. They are everywhere. They always want something extra.

I could hear the ‘trin-trin’ sound of trams rushing through the deserted roads madly under the scorching sun. There was stillness in the air. Everything seemed so dull and lifeless. It was as if the sun absorbed all the colors of life and put them on my palette. My restlessness slowly evolved as an agitation. I wanted to talk to someone. What will I draw? I’m alone. There’s no one to guide me. If now I stumble and fall down, no one is going to hold my hand…

I turned to the crow. It was patiently waiting for more than half n hour. I know what you were trying to say… I know what this is called… I know I can’t expect anyone to guide me anymore… I know I have grown up! I know I have some responsibilities. I may be 23, but I know I’m 45 inside my heart.

- “kkaw kkaw!” the crow nodded with approval and fled away. I told you, rebellions are here to change our world!

A Tribute to My Favorite Blog

Fortunately, I came across some of the best blogs on the internet. None of them are written for marketing purposes. They all carry the charm of individual personality. I believe if this was the nineteenth century, these authors would have written a large number of books and be known to the world as great writers. Well, it doesn’t matter whether they write books or not… but they are good writers! Perhaps they are wasting their talent, or probably they are not aware that they DO have a talent. This post of mine is to spread the name of one such blog author who doesn’t care about marketing. Who types, only because he has an obsession for words. Razor sharp, witty, and heroic words! He writes, because he cannot restrain the indomitable passion for writing. He writes to gratify his own self.

Blight-Rider is one such blog spreading the words of a great mind for quite a long time. Perhaps after reading this post, the author of Blight-Rider is going to pounce on me. But, I always wanted to do this. To all the people reading this post of mine, I just wanted to say… just click the link, there’s no advertisements, no Google Ads asking you to buy something, no popup windows… there are just words, mesmerizing words! A brilliant example of how every single word can be assembled together by a wizard (yes Anirban da, that’s what you are when you write) to form a hypnotic spell on his readers. So, next time you come across a simple looking blog that doesn’t carry a lot of HTML coding and eye-catching graphics to allure search engine traffic… do not close the browser instantly. Wait, look at the URL… is it Blight-Rider.blogspot.com?

This post is a very little tribute to my most favorite blog.

Eli Eli Lama Sabatchhani

Ok fine, I don’t believe in the concept of God, and I’m tired of explaining to people why I don’t... You may have a complete faith in the existence of God, for you there’s someone special up there sitting on Clouds and looking down at us with a cynical smile on his lips, that’s fine!  But, for me the case is slightly different. Perhaps just because I’m so dumb, your God is willingly hiding his existence from an imprudent atheist who only sees clouds… minus any supernatural creature sitting on a big white throne!

Ahh, there you are… assembling people to wage a war against me! To you, I’m the representative of Satan! To you, anyone who doesn’t believe in the existence of God loves Satan! To you, anyone who hates Shahrukh Khan… is an obvious supporter of Amir Khan or someone who loves Sachin Tendulkar will essentially spit with hatred whenever he hears the name of Brian Lara!

How quick you assume things so perfectly! How fast you spread terrorism in the name of religion!

Yes, I’m an Atheist, but have I ever forced you to be the same? Then why there’s such an enormous tumult whenever I refuse to see things from your point of view? Why do you guys want to prove that your opinions are right? Why do you need to fight over Ajodhya and Babri Masjid for superiority?

Ahh, there I am… now you came to know why the hell I am suddenly posting so many futile words on my blog… either I am from the sides of Hindus or Muslims… that is what you think, eh?

How good you divide people so fast! How fast you kill people in the name of an invisible creature!

“Damn this boy, we don’t care about the crap he writes. We have a strong community of people those who are religious. If we unite, voices of these idiotic atheists are going to be drowned in the ocean of blood!” But in the name of God we won’t kill him, let him live… his own fate will punish him some day for committing such wrong acts. He will die like a dog; God will take care of him.

There you are once again! Incredibly fast of forming “your own community,” against the one you find intolerable! Astoundingly generous of leaving him to his sufferings without using AK-47 for once!

The Dark Side Remains the Same

“Are you nuts? Wearing black t-shirt on such a holy day? You must be kidding…”

I turned back; it was my Aunty once again. Every time I wear a black t-shirt or Punjabi, she screams like a mad elephant! – “You know black is inauspicious! You shouldn’t wear black at home… you young kids take everything for granted, everything is easy in life like those fast foods you eat instead of homemade meals…!”

I couldn’t protest, because I knew nothing can change human dogmatism so easily. Arguments can only evoke new arguments! But, when I was a real kid I used to fight back with adolescent energies…

“Why can’t I wear black? It’s just a color, no one have the right mark a color as ill-fated… and how the hell on earth it’s inauspicious?”

“Look at this boy; no respects for the elders… look at the way he is arguing… the side effect of disproportionate westernization!!!”

That was ME… always ready to fight back for the things that irritate me the most. However, lot of water has passed under the bridge and that “side effect of disproportionate westernization” has finally realized the significance of “silence.”

I still wear black t-shirts almost 3-4 times a week (I have a great collection of quoted and graphic t-shirts man!). I still don’t believe that a color can bring adversities in a home! But, I have stopped going in conflict over irrelevant things! That is the legitimacy of life, you cannot fight against superstitious people… it is hard to alter dogmatism… people who can do such astonishing things are known as Saints in the pages of history! Clearly, I’m not a saint and I have no intentions to be one… so the best way to deal with these superstitions is, maintain a silence and keep doing what you think is right!

This is just a small example of superstition and dogmatism mingled together from a not-so-important corner of this planet. I am sure there are more such imprudent instances in almost every corners of earth. If we can’t protest verbally, we can do it in our own way… but never, never, never lay down your arms and become a hindrance to the progress of humanity! Lucky, that I have realized it…

Love Was Made For You and Me

It was just like any other day. There was nothing remarkable going outside, the scorching heat of the midnoon sun was setting aflame an unbearable and arduous tone that was annoying me incessantly for the last two hours. I was trying hard to concentrate on the books, exam was just a month away and I’m nowhere near the syllabus! An agitated mind was struggling to focus from the last two hours but every time he closer to the goal, there was a distraction. The same old distraction that has become the biggest hindrance of my life… it was a fair face with two inordinately beautiful eyes that convey all the secrets of a mysterious mind… I knew it was not the right time… but I was helpless, I was falling in her love at one of the most crucial time of my life without even considering the consequences that can wipe out my dreams one by one.

It all started in a cyber café near my residence. Just like many other boys of my age, I was desperately looking for a girl in my life. To me, chat portals were the only way to reach a large number of girls all over the world with no trouble. But, I couldn’t realize that an ordinary chat portal can become so influential to modify my life so hastily. I have heard of people meeting on social networking sites, falling in love and tying the knots at the end. How ridiculous! I used to think… a relationship is not that easy, people who fall in love on internet are either depressed or idiots. But, I couldn’t grasp that I was predestined to be one of the fools…

By now going to cyber café was an obsession for me. Every single day 2-3 hours of chatting was detrimental enough to reduce my life to rubble, but as I said… it was already an addiction and there are hardly any people who can willingly get rid of it. At least I didn’t have the ability.

It was 11:15am, I was about to sign in to a new chat room, all of a sudden…

-“Hi” it took me few seconds to land on the reality to apprehend that somebody was patting on my back softly. It was a girl… I couldn’t even say Hi to her; deep within my heart I already knew something was wrong. Assuming my baffled condition, she smiled beautifully and told – “I’m Sam… Sampurna, I think we were chatting with each other for the last 3 hours right?”

She was sitting beside me?? WTF! For the last 3 hours I was chatting with a girl without restraint only because I knew she was miles away… her virtual presence was enough relief for an idiotic introvert like me!

- “I need to leave now, are you coming out? We can talk outside”

By that time I have already managed to hide my bewildered, dim-witted reactions. She was as fair as snow, with full lips, a cute chin, and with a slight brownish touch on her hair, she was a real diva! A girl like her… I thought… won’t even think about me again if I am not going to appear as a well-groomed hunk! I paid the bill and came out of the café…

“We can meet again, isn’t it?” I was delirious to hear this from her mouth but disclosing my dim-witted reactions was not a good idea… I smiled and nodded gently, I wanted to know where… how, and when… for the first time in my life I was falling in love, slowly… but steadily.

We were crossing the road… suddenly there was a large howl, by the time I saw a bus overtaking a taxi just next to her… it was too late! Within a fraction of a second a dreadful noise of collision and an ear deafening brake paralyzed my entire body… at the last moment she held my hand and cried out in sheer panic… I couldn’t bear in mind the rest!

The last time I was jerked back to the world of consciousness… I felt I was in a moving vehicle… some faces were looking at me anxiously. Someone asked the driver to drive the car faster… there was mom and dad among those faces… mom was crying… and then it was a hot flash of red all over my brain…

The Last Page of Her Diary

Does everyone become conscious a day how dim-witted they are? Can’t tell about others but I was as stupid as a box of rocks.

Diary, you’re the only one who has read all the chapters of my existence. Today, before I turn off the light, and embrace the creepy hours of darkness unconsciously… I want to open my clothes one by one and bare my heart to you.

I knew I have a bloodcurdling sixth sense that often becomes an annoyance for me. But, I couldn’t realize it will cost me the most valuable possession of my life a day.

Have you ever noticed the conclusion of an oil lamp? The more the oil reduce, darkness crawls forward… slowly… but gradually! There was a time when I couldn’t visualize such a dismal end of my life. But today, standing on this juncture, the eagerness of a dying lamp has gone astray! It is not a bitter end; I’m just going to start a new life without Rahul!

After all, a bitch has all the rights to begin a new-fangled life… and this time without repeating the misapprehensions! I was wrong about him, there was no love for me… he was only drooling for my bare body! I never realized my life was destined to be a sex toy! Wish I could go to downstairs, take out the petrol from Sam’s car, pour it on my body and blaze the dimmed flame of the dying lamp…one last time! But, like many other lamps in this world of creeping darkness… I’m frail, as weak as the dying flame of a ravished lamp.

I was traumatized to discover that everything he told me was fake… in these 6 years of our relationship he was only fascinated with my body.

It’s already six years and he already knows my body inch by inch, how long will he pretend so hard to show off his loyalty towards me? He was apologetic but I relieved him of such a stress. He jumped off his bed and threw a blanket on that girl to cover his greed and said he will clarify the whole thing… but I didn’t want any explanations!

This is not going to be another of those nagging breakups where the girl ends up blaming the guy and lives as a symbol of virtue for the rest of her life. It’s almost 11:10pm at night… in an hour or two everything will be hunkered down for the long bleak darkness. The end of an oil lamp always becomes red… look it’s red all around me body… my ravished body… floating on my tainted blood! Waiting for the fondle touch of growing shadows…

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The Day He Escaped From His Cage

It was a lonely afternoon, the scorching mid noon sun was departing towards the west in a very leisurely manner. City roads were all deserted by the crowds and the bustling places which were usually packed with teenagers in the evenings are all forsaken with their daily odds and ends. He didn’t have anything to do but sit and observe the grayish sky outside the window. He could have started another painting but somehow that mood was missing… he was helplessly looking at his world losing the entire colors of his life inch after inch.

“Will I ever smile again? Will I ever live all the minutes of a day without hovering upon depressing thoughts and agonizing tensions?” - He closed the diary. Once again it was the same thing… that mood was lacking! Nothing can be done, he sighed! A lonely gust of air embraced the roadside trees hastily and some of the leaves fell down and touched the ground quietly!

Deep within his mind, he was all prepared to hear such words. But, this time he didn’t want to shift his focus… this time he didn’t want to wake up from his dreams! From the day he started understanding the tangible meaning of the things happening around him… he knew his life was destined to endure agony. He knew nothing will change… time is the best healer and he has the worst tolerance perhaps…

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She Was Hugged in the Middle of A Road...

“Sam, I’m not in a mood to talk about all these crap! I want to live my life to the fullest and anyone who tries to suffocate me for the sake of past becomes a hindrance in my eyes.”

She was no longer looking at his eyes, but she knew they were filled with rage and hatred for her! She knew this was the end of their relationship and nothing can change his mind. She doesn’t even want to give it a try…

“And one more thing Sam, we can still stay in touch as good friends, but if you try to blackmail me and ruin my career… I will screw your life!”

She could have said that it was she who sacrificed her career blindly in his love. It was she who wanted to forget that hatred of his eyes as soon as possible. But she didn’t want to answer because she will never be able to heal those wounds anymore… the more you think about it the more you cry!

She didn’t know where to go… suddenly she lost all the purposes of her life. Standing in the middle of a busy city she suddenly felt alone… and at once she had the tremendous urge to run back to him because his love was the only thing that kept her going while everything else was going horribly wrong.

Memories are always treacherous! They always remind the good days when we cry and take us back to those painful days whenever you are contented with your life. The hatred of his eyes prevented her from doing yet another mistake…

After all it was her slipup to trust someone so blindly… she wiped her tears and thought! She looked at the bustling city crowds, bright advertisements, and lively malls… she could no longer feel close to her own city. The only way out was to commit suicide and get rid of the painful present but she didn’t have the courage to die. Buying a 4 rupee ticket, get inside a metro station and jump whenever the train comes to the platform… as simple as that. She could easily take an overdose of sleeping pills and rest in peace for the rest of his life… she could easily slash her vein and run away from all these stupidities by committing another stupid act…

She suddenly realized there was someone special in her life that she has always neglected! He was her first and probably the last love… he won’t look at her with eyes full of rage and hatred ever…

Standing amidst the lively city she no longer felt alone… left with her own adversities! Instead, she felt how idiotic it was to abandon her first love for a mere illusion… now she was determined to live with him… now she was knew his name… it’s her own LIFE!!

The Goddess From My Eyes

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Catching the World From My Eyes

Please do not copy any of theses images as these are watermarked by DeviantArt and strictly copyright protected! If found, violation of the rule might trigger a legal notice.

Hover Through the Fog and Filthy Air

“What exactly are you going to do with your skills?” – They ask every time I draw something new.

I look like a baffled last boy of the class when the teacher has asked an easy question from the Chemistry book. It’s a chemistry of life and I’m exceedingly bad as a chemist!

Somewhere deep within a dark sphere of my bewildered soul someone cries out “skill? What skill are you talking about?” I don’t have any skill. I didn’t even know the existence of such a skill inside me! I breathe only because I can’t live without oxygen. I draw… only because I can’t survive without it.

Every night I hear the voice of a weary painter… desperately looking for an oxygen mask and a canvas in front. I don’t know how to open the clogged windows of my room and let the birds come in. I’m all alone and ensnared in a world of pale turpentine and unfinished canvases.

My feeble hand holds the color palette in an utter perplexity… still can’t choose the right color of life. My cartoon character… Bighead asks me every so often “What exactly are you going to do with me you fool?” I could have… but I can’t wipe away his dialogue balloon. I can’t do anything except painting!

And every single day those frantic molecules continue asking –

“What exactly are you going to do with your skills?”

Have You Accomplished Your Goals?

In order to write a sentence as it should be, you need to think about it before you begin your writing. Every great work must have a proper planning or else dreams will turn out to be a fuss and you will by no means be able to see those dreams taking shapes in realism. For instance, we all dream of becoming something that fascinates us from our childhood. But, very few of us can successfully achieve his/her dreams. People, those who can effectively accomplish their dreams are often referred as super humans or someone with a god like demeanor. But, are they really born with some extraterrestrial talent? They are highly talented but that talent is not enough to make them triumphant or more precisely accomplish the task and grab what they have dreamt of.

There’s something called planning. That makes the entire difference between the sides that fails to achieve and those who can actually touch the sky. Proper planning is the first major step of accomplishing bigger goals of life.

People who do not succeed in life and end up being an ordinary employee, people who can’t achieve their dreams often fail to become conscious about the lack of proper planning. They blame their fate and hope for some kind of supernatural assistance. They argue, “There was a plan” but simply it didn’t work out.

This world is a history of some self-assured people those who understood “they CAN.” Despite of failing 999 times, they refused to give up, tried one last time, and finally achieved what they have dreamt of. That makes the entire difference between people who give up so easily with those like Napoleon Bonaparte or Thomas Alva Edison. If you couldn’t achieve your goals despite of having a plan, then that plan was not “planned” enough. Rather, not passionate enough! Only those people are eligible to create history on this earth who passionately believes “I CAN.”

This World is Full of Creativity

This world is full of astounding designs and creative ideas. Being an aspiring artist myself, I love to see what other creative minds are up to. For me visual art is far superior to any other form of art because visualizing art is a great way to leave a deep and ever lasting impact on a person’s mind. Visual art enrich and aesthetically beautify our lives.

I was browsing in search of some appealing graphics and all of a sudden discovered something really marvelous. Here are some astounding examples of ingenious paper work designs by typography artist Yulia Brodskay. Life is full of color and designs; it is our responsibility to make it beautiful… in our own way!

When Things Goes Wrong

 Every time life throws a new challenge and starts changing the older rules, I try my best to cope with the situation and feel like an optimist. Optimism is something that injects new hope in us and helps to get rid of the difficult situations of day to day life.

Personally, I have experienced both the negative and positive sides of life. At times I become extremely pessimist and when that cynic gets fed up with the continuous flow of depressing state of affairs there evolves an optimist who wants to survive and live a happy life. Unfortunately, none of them survives.

They both spend sleepless nights and depressed days with a hope that things will definitely improve. I’ve experienced some really awkward moments of life and I know there are even more difficult situations waiting in front of me. That frightens me.

There was a time when I seriously felt suicide is the only way out! Fortunately I couldn’t commit suicide because on the right moment life made me realize that I have some bigger responsibilities to fulfill. Those depressing thoughts still paralyze my mind.

Trust me I’m not here to be a “spiritual baba” someone who has all the solutions of living a happy and fruitful life. I’m just like one of you… trying to find a way out.

There are infinite numbers of people like me those who are frustrated with these “difficult times” of life. They are not ready to adopt any theories in their life and make it more intricate. We guys are wandering in the middle of nowhere with infinite number of unanswered questions in mind.

Life is not a theory; it can’t be defined by any doctrine or dogmatic religious views. People like me want to live a decent life without any hassles. People like me chew their dreams and live their life with infinite numbers of hopes. That is what keeps them going.

They are pessimist because life has very little gifts for them. On the other hand, they try to be optimistic because running away from life is not a solution for them either.

Shahrukh Knight Riders – A Team Without the True Essence of Bengal!

Once again history repeats itself! Despite of becoming the highest scorer for KKR in the last IPL, Sourav Ganguly, the former Indian and Knight Riders Caption has been rejected by all the teams… especially by his home team KKR!

Drawing an end to his long struggling career, Sourav finally proved the age-old proverb! “If you’re a Bengali and a successful person, you don’t have the right to sit on the top.”

Standing at this juncture, what if we ask Mr. SRK some simple questions?

What is the base of this surprising decision for not bidding the city’s greatest cricket legend? Is it just because of his poor performance? Well, if we do rely on the right statistics, he was the highest scorer in the last IPL.

Is it just because he is going to turn forty pretty soon? Then, what about those astounding catches that earned him the title of “one of the fittest man” in the last IPL? Those stunning catches even shocked hardcore Ganguly critiques and forced to give a second thought to pass comments about his fitness in the future. Just like all other experts, I also do not consider this as the major reason Mr. SRK, to think of a KKR without the existence of “Kolkata“ in it.

Is it entirely ego related? The very presence of Ganguly on the field is enough scare and make you feel insecure of your own position as an owner of the team? You might be a great actor, but you’re always doomed to fail as a leader Mr. SRK. Whether you accept it or not, experts’ comments are waiting with all the statistical evidences in hand! It is you who incredibly failed to choose a proper team in all the IPL and started making a fuss out of it on Twitter.

Yes, your name is Khan, but you are a fool indeed! You are accused of building a home team of Kolkata, without having a single “Bengali” player in the grid. What made you so wise? The entire city is holding their breath to know the answers of this question in this IPL.

Common, show us some courage by admitting the fact that the failure of the first few IPL burned a big hole in your pocket! You never loved cricket, all you wanted is to make money out of it. And what is a better way than investing in IPL which has tons of options to get rid of the Income Tax Department? But,you’ve commit a mistake! It’s like carrying a bunch of 100 rupee notes in your pocket without the official watermark of Indian Government on it! It’s like scheduling a bridal ceremony with loads of firecrackers without the presence of any bride in the mandap. Yes, it’s like coming to Eden Gardens without having the Maharaj of Kolkata in your money making squad!

For the time being, we can assure you of one thing Mr. SRK, you are never going to experience the same Eden like you did in the last few IPLs. You’re never going to receive the same admiration from this city, like you unfortunately had in the last couple of years. You are never going to make so much money despite of continuous failure of your “Shahrukh Knight Riders” like you did in the past.

You might be Khan! But that doesn’t give you the right of thinking yourself equal to the Maharaja! All the best for your IPL venture, Kolkata is eager to see the fate of SKR… your very own team “Shahrukh Knight Riders.”

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Waiting for You Jack...

 

Why do I find so many similarities between Pip of "Great Expectations" and my own childhood? Well, this is not going to be one of those "nostalgic" articles for sure. Once someone revealed, life is the best teacher and she was the worst learner perhaps... days have passed! Finally a fool has realized that, he is the second worst learner indeed!

Standing at these juncture, things have changed! Even that stupid boy has also learned to accepting some hidden rules of life. Now he hates everything related to his past... and wish to consult a doctor to wake up from the nightmare.

I know there are many such "Ajesh" out there who failed to disclose their capability on the right time. But, trust me guys, there was a time when I thought "this is the end of the road, nothing will workout... this was the story of a poor, crap immature lover, and from tomorrow onwards there will be one fool less on this planet..."

Still I'm alive! There are no secrets...there are no magical spell... luckily I realized that life is not a shit! There's no point of cursing life saying, "Ohh why me..you moron, why me!!!" Life is not interested in such "WTF" words from a repenting soul.

Life is only for winners. If you are not trying to be a part of the game, get out of the field and no one else will bother anything about you. Trust me man, no one will cry except all the fun that you missed.

Life is much bigger than wasting your tears over past! Get out of your grave and poke your friends on Facebook!

Gahe Tava Jaya Gatha!

In this age of crisis, they have stopped calling us the third world because finally they can make profit from us! But what about us Indians? Where is our values? Is it still a land of snake charmers or finaly  Indians have overcome the hurdle of their "once upon a time" glorious past!

Let us respect our own Mother first, then perhaps we can gorge on western culture more conveniently...

Pi Media News Letter Illustration

Just a noir illustration of Goddess Durga! Wanted to give it a bold look...no wonder I fall in love with her again and again.