The Last Page of Her Diary

Does everyone become conscious a day how dim-witted they are? Can’t tell about others but I was as stupid as a box of rocks.

Diary, you’re the only one who has read all the chapters of my existence. Today, before I turn off the light, and embrace the creepy hours of darkness unconsciously… I want to open my clothes one by one and bare my heart to you.

I knew I have a bloodcurdling sixth sense that often becomes an annoyance for me. But, I couldn’t realize it will cost me the most valuable possession of my life a day.

Have you ever noticed the conclusion of an oil lamp? The more the oil reduce, darkness crawls forward… slowly… but gradually! There was a time when I couldn’t visualize such a dismal end of my life. But today, standing on this juncture, the eagerness of a dying lamp has gone astray! It is not a bitter end; I’m just going to start a new life without Rahul!

After all, a bitch has all the rights to begin a new-fangled life… and this time without repeating the misapprehensions! I was wrong about him, there was no love for me… he was only drooling for my bare body! I never realized my life was destined to be a sex toy! Wish I could go to downstairs, take out the petrol from Sam’s car, pour it on my body and blaze the dimmed flame of the dying lamp…one last time! But, like many other lamps in this world of creeping darkness… I’m frail, as weak as the dying flame of a ravished lamp.

I was traumatized to discover that everything he told me was fake… in these 6 years of our relationship he was only fascinated with my body.

It’s already six years and he already knows my body inch by inch, how long will he pretend so hard to show off his loyalty towards me? He was apologetic but I relieved him of such a stress. He jumped off his bed and threw a blanket on that girl to cover his greed and said he will clarify the whole thing… but I didn’t want any explanations!

This is not going to be another of those nagging breakups where the girl ends up blaming the guy and lives as a symbol of virtue for the rest of her life. It’s almost 11:10pm at night… in an hour or two everything will be hunkered down for the long bleak darkness. The end of an oil lamp always becomes red… look it’s red all around me body… my ravished body… floating on my tainted blood! Waiting for the fondle touch of growing shadows…

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When Things Goes Wrong

 Every time life throws a new challenge and starts changing the older rules, I try my best to cope with the situation and feel like an optimist. Optimism is something that injects new hope in us and helps to get rid of the difficult situations of day to day life.

Personally, I have experienced both the negative and positive sides of life. At times I become extremely pessimist and when that cynic gets fed up with the continuous flow of depressing state of affairs there evolves an optimist who wants to survive and live a happy life. Unfortunately, none of them survives.

They both spend sleepless nights and depressed days with a hope that things will definitely improve. I’ve experienced some really awkward moments of life and I know there are even more difficult situations waiting in front of me. That frightens me.

There was a time when I seriously felt suicide is the only way out! Fortunately I couldn’t commit suicide because on the right moment life made me realize that I have some bigger responsibilities to fulfill. Those depressing thoughts still paralyze my mind.

Trust me I’m not here to be a “spiritual baba” someone who has all the solutions of living a happy and fruitful life. I’m just like one of you… trying to find a way out.

There are infinite numbers of people like me those who are frustrated with these “difficult times” of life. They are not ready to adopt any theories in their life and make it more intricate. We guys are wandering in the middle of nowhere with infinite number of unanswered questions in mind.

Life is not a theory; it can’t be defined by any doctrine or dogmatic religious views. People like me want to live a decent life without any hassles. People like me chew their dreams and live their life with infinite numbers of hopes. That is what keeps them going.

They are pessimist because life has very little gifts for them. On the other hand, they try to be optimistic because running away from life is not a solution for them either.

Waiting for You Jack...

 

Why do I find so many similarities between Pip of "Great Expectations" and my own childhood? Well, this is not going to be one of those "nostalgic" articles for sure. Once someone revealed, life is the best teacher and she was the worst learner perhaps... days have passed! Finally a fool has realized that, he is the second worst learner indeed!

Standing at these juncture, things have changed! Even that stupid boy has also learned to accepting some hidden rules of life. Now he hates everything related to his past... and wish to consult a doctor to wake up from the nightmare.

I know there are many such "Ajesh" out there who failed to disclose their capability on the right time. But, trust me guys, there was a time when I thought "this is the end of the road, nothing will workout... this was the story of a poor, crap immature lover, and from tomorrow onwards there will be one fool less on this planet..."

Still I'm alive! There are no secrets...there are no magical spell... luckily I realized that life is not a shit! There's no point of cursing life saying, "Ohh why me..you moron, why me!!!" Life is not interested in such "WTF" words from a repenting soul.

Life is only for winners. If you are not trying to be a part of the game, get out of the field and no one else will bother anything about you. Trust me man, no one will cry except all the fun that you missed.

Life is much bigger than wasting your tears over past! Get out of your grave and poke your friends on Facebook!