Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Now that's a title!

I thought about this title last weekend when I was drunk.

And I kissed a girl.

Well I thought it was a girl until the next morning one of my friends told me that it was strange of me to kiss him last night.

I told you I was drunk and the music was quite loud.

In the morning I realized it was no music but the ringtone of my mobile.

Every time my girlfriend called me, I danced with the beats!

My mobile showed 17 missed calls in total.

But I was right about the lizard on the ceiling. It looked like a dragon but was actually a firefly.

I was really drunk and missed my girlfriend. So I sent her a text:

“I'm drunk! Come here baby... miss you.”

I had a reply from her, she was really pissed off.

The next morning I checked my inbox and saw a text from my boss.

“Retard! Double-check before sending me these creepy texts.”

And I thought it was my girlfriend!

Then one of my friends wanted to go home. I wanted to drop him.

From the 6th floor... but I don't remember anything like that.

The next day, they told me I wanted to drop him just because he wanted to pee.

I was so drunk last weekend!

Then I had 8 more pegs of whiskey and suddenly remembered that I had to call my mother.

She acted strangely on the phone. She went on telling me I was not her son!

I was so shocked and sad. Someone took the mobile from my hand and replied her something which I don't remember at all.

The next day they told me it was not my mobile at all. And that was not my mother either. She was a girlfriend of one of my friends.

Then there was this strong blow on my head. Everything became dark. How could my friends hit me just because I was drunk?!! I don't remember anything else!

Later, the next morning they told me we were having a bullfight last night. I was the bull.

And I ran towards a poster of John Lennon on the wall screaming “this is Spartaaaaa!”

I really don't remember anything.

The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog, But...

…but the dog quickly grabbed him by his furry tail and asked,

“Hold on a sec pal, why do you keep jumping over me when there's plenty of space around?”

“Do I look like a fence?”

“I don't even try to catch you because I'm lazy. But this time I had to stop you, not because I'm angry but I'm just curious...”

“Seriously, why do you keep jumping over me, man?”

The fox looked scared at first, then realizing that the dog won't do anything it regained some of its courage to speak.

“I... I can't help, that's my habit...”

“I've done that countless times and I will do that again and again because I've done that again and again.”

“Now can you please let go of my tail? I have to come back again to jump over you.”

The lazy dog look disgusted now.

“Look pal, I didn't stop you for countless times, but today I did. And I won't mind chasing you if you try to jump over me once more.”

“I have nothing personal about foxes but I hate the ones that jump over lazy and sleepy dogs.”

The fox look scared now and tried to explain...

“But I have nothing to do with it. It's the humans who made me jump over you for the sake of their alphabets. I hate this job. Jumping over a dog who does sleeps all day long.”

The dog let go of the tail of the fox and shook hands with him.

“Pal, you see a pub over there? I bet you won't mind having something to drink...”

So the quick brown fox and the lazy dog went to this pub again and again. They became friends, had a lot of fun, got drunk, danced together, jumped over each other and did everything silly.

Moral of the story: Stop looking for morals everywhere. Live your life!

Prose-titute!

It was 5:00pm. Her last class for the day.

Suddenly, her cell phone rang when the professor was giving a lecture on molecular biology.

Thank God it was in vibration mode! She instantly picked up the call and whispered - “Hello?”

There was a husky voice on the other side of the phone.

“Rich man! Drunk. Paying in cash! Looking for the best.”

She felt excited. More money! It was the third time in the day.

She needed money desperately!

In a trembling voice she asked - “Where?”

- “Outside your college! White Audi. Make him happy, do whatever he wants.”

- “On my way.”

She had to leave the class in the middle. The professor didn't bother, for this was her usual habit. She rushed to the ladies' washroom, touched up her makeup quickly, applied perfume, and started walking towards the main gate of the college.

Yes, he was right. There was the white car, parked under the banyan tree. But the windows were closed. She went closer to the car and knocked on the black window glass. The window rolled down.

Her father's face made her go weak in the knees.