“What exactly are you going to do with your skills?” – They ask every time I draw something new.
I look like a baffled last boy of the class when the teacher has asked an easy question from the Chemistry book. It’s a chemistry of life and I’m exceedingly bad as a chemist!
Somewhere deep within a dark sphere of my bewildered soul someone cries out “skill? What skill are you talking about?” I don’t have any skill. I didn’t even know the existence of such a skill inside me! I breathe only because I can’t live without oxygen. I draw… only because I can’t survive without it.
Every night I hear the voice of a weary painter… desperately looking for an oxygen mask and a canvas in front. I don’t know how to open the clogged windows of my room and let the birds come in. I’m all alone and ensnared in a world of pale turpentine and unfinished canvases.
My feeble hand holds the color palette in an utter perplexity… still can’t choose the right color of life. My cartoon character… Bighead asks me every so often “What exactly are you going to do with me you fool?” I could have… but I can’t wipe away his dialogue balloon. I can’t do anything except painting!
And every single day those frantic molecules continue asking –
“What exactly are you going to do with your skills?”
I understand your feeling, but this kind of feeling is quite common in artists, my friend...
ReplyDeleteI have had the privilege of knowing quite a few artists until now, and most of them have experienced similar feelings some time in their lives...
So, don't worry about this... others are only appreciating what you do well, after all. Be happy, take a deep breath and keep enjoying what you do.
Will be checking your account on dA (http://ajeshbanerjee.deviantart.com/), so keep uploading!
@Synchro: I'm glad that you are a regular watcher of my DeviantArt profile :) Your words are very encouraging! I guess i'm suffering from an "mad-artist" syndrome...
ReplyDeleteOnce again, thanks!
"My feeble hand holds the color palette in an utter perplexity… still can’t choose the right color of life..."...your hands aren't weak my friend...maybe they're in need of some rest. But, that doesn't make them "feeble"..that's not what they are, neither what you are!!!...It requires strength...it requires perception...and, it requires courage to captivate the creation's of Almighty in a frame, and through your colors.
ReplyDeleteNo, I ain't talking about your skills...skills are useless if not put to good use. But, I'm talking about your vision...through which you see an altogether different world....
It does require a good amount gust to shoulder such visions....Cheers Komrade!!!