Listen, I'm Not In A Mood to Talk

It all started with a phone call. One of my relatives visited Kolkata few months back and called me for a casual chat about my illustrations. He asked me whether I'm planning to take this as my career. I glibly replied, “that's what I dream about.” The man went into his “hmmmm I see” mode before asking, “So, being a professional writer, don't you find it odd to write web content and create paintings at the same time?”

Everything but everything in my life can be traced back to a tiny six letter word - 'pencil.' I was a boy who was terribly weak in maths, scarcely participated in outdoor games, stumbled to utter a short sentence properly, and had a zero confidence level, but I'm not embarrassed... I only feel bad! Terribly bad. So, the only thing I could do was to sit in a lone corner of my room with a blank page from my old fair copy and a pencil that was so small that I always had to struggle to hold it properly. What else do you expect Mr. relative? Me flying a F-16 at the age of 24? I never claimed myself a genius. Did I?

After all these years, I can't remember who was the first person to appreciate that ugly, immature drawing of mine. Our brains forget so many precious memories. Things have changed. Today, i earn enough to buy thousands of pencils, colors, and sketch pads. But, I still wonder... who made me realize you had a bad start and there were no other options. But, you picked up the right weapon... that was the best decision you ever made.

I can't remember how long I was staring at the computer screen. Suddenly it switched into the power saving mode and the dark Windows XP screensaver popped up. Within a second I got my answer! Thanks to the dim room light, I could see myself staring at me on the computer screen.