Love Was Made For You and Me

It was just like any other day. There was nothing remarkable going outside, the scorching heat of the midnoon sun was setting aflame an unbearable and arduous tone that was annoying me incessantly for the last two hours. I was trying hard to concentrate on the books, exam was just a month away and I’m nowhere near the syllabus! An agitated mind was struggling to focus from the last two hours but every time he closer to the goal, there was a distraction. The same old distraction that has become the biggest hindrance of my life… it was a fair face with two inordinately beautiful eyes that convey all the secrets of a mysterious mind… I knew it was not the right time… but I was helpless, I was falling in her love at one of the most crucial time of my life without even considering the consequences that can wipe out my dreams one by one.

It all started in a cyber café near my residence. Just like many other boys of my age, I was desperately looking for a girl in my life. To me, chat portals were the only way to reach a large number of girls all over the world with no trouble. But, I couldn’t realize that an ordinary chat portal can become so influential to modify my life so hastily. I have heard of people meeting on social networking sites, falling in love and tying the knots at the end. How ridiculous! I used to think… a relationship is not that easy, people who fall in love on internet are either depressed or idiots. But, I couldn’t grasp that I was predestined to be one of the fools…

By now going to cyber café was an obsession for me. Every single day 2-3 hours of chatting was detrimental enough to reduce my life to rubble, but as I said… it was already an addiction and there are hardly any people who can willingly get rid of it. At least I didn’t have the ability.

It was 11:15am, I was about to sign in to a new chat room, all of a sudden…

-“Hi” it took me few seconds to land on the reality to apprehend that somebody was patting on my back softly. It was a girl… I couldn’t even say Hi to her; deep within my heart I already knew something was wrong. Assuming my baffled condition, she smiled beautifully and told – “I’m Sam… Sampurna, I think we were chatting with each other for the last 3 hours right?”

She was sitting beside me?? WTF! For the last 3 hours I was chatting with a girl without restraint only because I knew she was miles away… her virtual presence was enough relief for an idiotic introvert like me!

- “I need to leave now, are you coming out? We can talk outside”

By that time I have already managed to hide my bewildered, dim-witted reactions. She was as fair as snow, with full lips, a cute chin, and with a slight brownish touch on her hair, she was a real diva! A girl like her… I thought… won’t even think about me again if I am not going to appear as a well-groomed hunk! I paid the bill and came out of the café…

“We can meet again, isn’t it?” I was delirious to hear this from her mouth but disclosing my dim-witted reactions was not a good idea… I smiled and nodded gently, I wanted to know where… how, and when… for the first time in my life I was falling in love, slowly… but steadily.

We were crossing the road… suddenly there was a large howl, by the time I saw a bus overtaking a taxi just next to her… it was too late! Within a fraction of a second a dreadful noise of collision and an ear deafening brake paralyzed my entire body… at the last moment she held my hand and cried out in sheer panic… I couldn’t bear in mind the rest!

The last time I was jerked back to the world of consciousness… I felt I was in a moving vehicle… some faces were looking at me anxiously. Someone asked the driver to drive the car faster… there was mom and dad among those faces… mom was crying… and then it was a hot flash of red all over my brain…

The Last Page of Her Diary

Does everyone become conscious a day how dim-witted they are? Can’t tell about others but I was as stupid as a box of rocks.

Diary, you’re the only one who has read all the chapters of my existence. Today, before I turn off the light, and embrace the creepy hours of darkness unconsciously… I want to open my clothes one by one and bare my heart to you.

I knew I have a bloodcurdling sixth sense that often becomes an annoyance for me. But, I couldn’t realize it will cost me the most valuable possession of my life a day.

Have you ever noticed the conclusion of an oil lamp? The more the oil reduce, darkness crawls forward… slowly… but gradually! There was a time when I couldn’t visualize such a dismal end of my life. But today, standing on this juncture, the eagerness of a dying lamp has gone astray! It is not a bitter end; I’m just going to start a new life without Rahul!

After all, a bitch has all the rights to begin a new-fangled life… and this time without repeating the misapprehensions! I was wrong about him, there was no love for me… he was only drooling for my bare body! I never realized my life was destined to be a sex toy! Wish I could go to downstairs, take out the petrol from Sam’s car, pour it on my body and blaze the dimmed flame of the dying lamp…one last time! But, like many other lamps in this world of creeping darkness… I’m frail, as weak as the dying flame of a ravished lamp.

I was traumatized to discover that everything he told me was fake… in these 6 years of our relationship he was only fascinated with my body.

It’s already six years and he already knows my body inch by inch, how long will he pretend so hard to show off his loyalty towards me? He was apologetic but I relieved him of such a stress. He jumped off his bed and threw a blanket on that girl to cover his greed and said he will clarify the whole thing… but I didn’t want any explanations!

This is not going to be another of those nagging breakups where the girl ends up blaming the guy and lives as a symbol of virtue for the rest of her life. It’s almost 11:10pm at night… in an hour or two everything will be hunkered down for the long bleak darkness. The end of an oil lamp always becomes red… look it’s red all around me body… my ravished body… floating on my tainted blood! Waiting for the fondle touch of growing shadows…

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The Day He Escaped From His Cage

It was a lonely afternoon, the scorching mid noon sun was departing towards the west in a very leisurely manner. City roads were all deserted by the crowds and the bustling places which were usually packed with teenagers in the evenings are all forsaken with their daily odds and ends. He didn’t have anything to do but sit and observe the grayish sky outside the window. He could have started another painting but somehow that mood was missing… he was helplessly looking at his world losing the entire colors of his life inch after inch.

“Will I ever smile again? Will I ever live all the minutes of a day without hovering upon depressing thoughts and agonizing tensions?” - He closed the diary. Once again it was the same thing… that mood was lacking! Nothing can be done, he sighed! A lonely gust of air embraced the roadside trees hastily and some of the leaves fell down and touched the ground quietly!

Deep within his mind, he was all prepared to hear such words. But, this time he didn’t want to shift his focus… this time he didn’t want to wake up from his dreams! From the day he started understanding the tangible meaning of the things happening around him… he knew his life was destined to endure agony. He knew nothing will change… time is the best healer and he has the worst tolerance perhaps…

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She Was Hugged in the Middle of A Road...

“Sam, I’m not in a mood to talk about all these crap! I want to live my life to the fullest and anyone who tries to suffocate me for the sake of past becomes a hindrance in my eyes.”

She was no longer looking at his eyes, but she knew they were filled with rage and hatred for her! She knew this was the end of their relationship and nothing can change his mind. She doesn’t even want to give it a try…

“And one more thing Sam, we can still stay in touch as good friends, but if you try to blackmail me and ruin my career… I will screw your life!”

She could have said that it was she who sacrificed her career blindly in his love. It was she who wanted to forget that hatred of his eyes as soon as possible. But she didn’t want to answer because she will never be able to heal those wounds anymore… the more you think about it the more you cry!

She didn’t know where to go… suddenly she lost all the purposes of her life. Standing in the middle of a busy city she suddenly felt alone… and at once she had the tremendous urge to run back to him because his love was the only thing that kept her going while everything else was going horribly wrong.

Memories are always treacherous! They always remind the good days when we cry and take us back to those painful days whenever you are contented with your life. The hatred of his eyes prevented her from doing yet another mistake…

After all it was her slipup to trust someone so blindly… she wiped her tears and thought! She looked at the bustling city crowds, bright advertisements, and lively malls… she could no longer feel close to her own city. The only way out was to commit suicide and get rid of the painful present but she didn’t have the courage to die. Buying a 4 rupee ticket, get inside a metro station and jump whenever the train comes to the platform… as simple as that. She could easily take an overdose of sleeping pills and rest in peace for the rest of his life… she could easily slash her vein and run away from all these stupidities by committing another stupid act…

She suddenly realized there was someone special in her life that she has always neglected! He was her first and probably the last love… he won’t look at her with eyes full of rage and hatred ever…

Standing amidst the lively city she no longer felt alone… left with her own adversities! Instead, she felt how idiotic it was to abandon her first love for a mere illusion… now she was determined to live with him… now she was knew his name… it’s her own LIFE!!

The Goddess From My Eyes

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Catching the World From My Eyes

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